For the past couple of months, I have started really seeing what true love is. I always thought that I knew what love was but I was wrong. In past relationships where the ever so meaningful phrase "I love you" was said, it seemed to be just the thing that needed to be said because it felt like the right time to say it and yes, I may have really liked someone but looking back, I know that it was not TRUE love. I always thought that true love was just a feeling that you had for someone but it is not. Over the past couple of months, I have discovered many things that are detrimental to contributing to true love. The first thing that I have discovered is yes, the crazy butterfly feeling. Of course, every relationship has this in the beginning. But I've learned that true love involves still always having a smile on your face whenever you are just looking at that loved one and always feeling the butterflies whenever they smile at you. This past Saturday was a HUGE day for me to learn this. I was at the Hogs game vs LSU and we were all cheering and having a great time. Next thing I know, I look up and to my left, Ben was looking at me with a really big smile. I felt my entire body just melt. I had chills. I was shaking. I wanted to scream. ALL JUST FROM A SMILE! I had so many things going through my mind. "Wow he is good looking." "What did I do to deserve him?" "Am I in a dream? Is this all real?" And again, ALL FROM A SMILE!
The next discovery of true love came from visiting Ben's family at his parents house in Fort Smith Friday night. Ben's family is Cuban and his Aunt, Cousin and Cousin's fiance came into town from NYC! Wow were they fun to be around! I had met Ben's parents before a couple of times but this time was different. We were in their home and really getting to know each other. We all had dinner in their beautiful full dinning room on their 8 person antique table. We said grace and had a great/fun dinner. After cleaning up after dinner, Ben's mother and I grabbed a slice of ice cream cake and headed back into the dinning room for a little chat. At the end of chatting about Ben and our relationship and different subjects, I had tears in my eyes. It was the most amazing night. For the first time ever, I could see every value and way of life of my parents in his parents. It was so comfortable being in their home with his family. We laughed all night and had a really good time. This is such an important thing when finding true love. When you can see your family in someone else's family, you are finding true love.
Everyone has flaws. Generally when you get into a relationship, the flaws are discovered, and then usually someone in the relationship has to change. There is always going to be at least one tiny little thing that bugs you about that other person. But when you discover/find true love, the flaws do not matter. One thing about Ben, is that he accepts all of my flaws. And believe me, there are tons of them. I don't have to try and impress Ben, or be someone that I am not. Whenever I am just plain Tressa and just being silly me, Ben just smiles at me and makes me feel so special.
I was actually telling a friend on mine today about this and how I was feeling. She just looked at me and smiled and said, "I can truly see happiness in your eyes!" I told her that I have the most crazy feelings during the day just thinking about the one boy! :) It's like I just have to squeeze my whole body tight! (yes..from the butt cheeks in!) Such an amazing feeling!
What do you do in a situation like this?? OK so--the "I love you" has not been said yet! (((And you must think that I am crazy for writing this blog because he would see it! LUCKY for me, I know that he doesn't read my blog and if he does...SURPRISE! You now know EXACTLY how I feel about you! :) But I know that he doesn't! Maybe one day I can go back many months and show him this post!))) So what now? Of course, I would NEVER say that little phrase first! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! NEVER! Ahhh this is the worst part about falling in love with someone! And of course, the female is always faster on developing the feelings than the male! I wish I could give him some female hormone for like a day and let him catch up to me! BUT..what if he is already in love with me but too afraid to tell me! Ok now I am just rambling! Oh LOVE!
Ok...now to keep dreaming and THANKING GOD that I am having the best time of my life and that he is brought to me a true Godly man! :)
1st Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
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